By Luqman Kamaldeen Oladayo
Across Nigeria, thousands of university students resume lectures each year carrying not just foodstuffs and lecture notes, but grief. In these institutions, students are taught how to think, how to argue, and how to prepare for examinations. No one teaches them how to survive loss.
This is the reality of some students in Usmanu Danfodiyo University, Sokoto (UDUS), grief arrived without warning–often through a call after midnight, a message received on the way to prayer, or the sudden silence left by a parent who never returned home. While lectures resumed and academic calendars remained unmoved, these students were forced to return to class carrying something heavier than books–the absence of the people who once gave meaning, direction, and reassurance to their lives.
For Yakubu Ahmad, a 200 level law student who was born into royalty. That absence arrived in the early hours of 6th November, 2025. The night had been ordinary just like every other night. His father left home healthy, without complaint, without the slightest sign of illness. Nothing suggested that it would be their last parting. But shortly after midnight, Yakubu was jolted awake.
“My mum woke me up and said my dad had suddenly fallen seriously sick,” he recalled.
Fear came immediately. In that moment of uncertainty, he turned instinctively to prayer.
“I prayed to Allah that it shouldn’t be what I feared the most—death,” Yakubu said.
Before his mother and elder siblings could reach his father, the news came irreversibly. He has already passed on. This was the father who masterminded his son’s dream and has always looked forward to seeing the day he would be called to the Nigerian bar.
Yakubu agreed to his destiny and what had been decreed would definitely come to pass. The pain was unlike anything he had known or used to.
“I miss him dearly. I still wish he can be here with us, but Allah knows best,” he lamented.
At this time, Yakubu had just completed his first year in UDUS. His father was not only a parent but a pillar—emotionally steady, morally grounding, and deeply invested in his future.
“Emotionally, I was devastated and my heart was broken,” he said.
However, grief did not suspend responsibility. Yakubu recalled barely days after the news of his father’s death surfaced, the university released its 2025/2026 academic calendar and according to the calendar, lectures were scheduled to resume on the 8th December, 2025. When he was still finding it difficult to cope with the situation on ground—another one rose.
As he struggled internally, external pressure mounted. Calls from his landlord at school had become frequent and rent had to be paid, or the room would be given to someone else.
“That was a great challenge for me. That was when I missed my Dad most,”
Yakubu stood tall regardless even in those moments of agony, the thought of abandoning his education has never crossed his mind.
Continuing his education became more than ambition; it became an obligation to a dream his father did not live to see.
For Ramadan, he was just a 300-level student, deep into examinations when he was struck in the middle of motion—interrupting both routine and examination. It was the evening of 16th August and he was on his way to the mosque for prayer when he was informed.
“It was my stepsister who called. She was also a 400 level student as at that time when she broke the news of my father’s death,” he said.
The message his sister delivered changed everything. He was psychologically down, frustrated, pained, and very confused. They faced a lot of unimaginable challenges at the time.
“A whole lot happened to me at that moment,” he said.
Unlike Yakubu, Ramadan was already close to the end of his academic journey. He understood what stopping would cost him as well as what continuing would demand. While he managed to remain academically stable, the emotional loss cut deeply.
“Apart from the financial support my father used to give me, I was affected by his unwavering emotional support and advice that sharpened me,” he said.
Those words which once spoken casually by a living father became something he now carried everywhere.
Even though support came from his mother, siblings, and department, particularly during his project and practical work. He still felt his father’s presence. But, this time, it helped him stand when he felt like collapsing.
Looking back, Ramadan reduces the experience to a single truth learned through pain: “It will feel like the world has ended. But surviving is winning,” he concluded.
For Abdur-Rahman, a 200 level law student grief entered the lecture hall itself. He had just resumed for the second semester of the 2024/2025 academic session. Then came Tuesday 24th, July 2025 when her mother journeyed to life beyond.
“I lost my beloved mother a day after our first lecture,” he said.
He was a first-year student, still adjusting to university life, when the emotional anchor of his world disappeared. Abdulrahman expressed how his mum’s absence was affected and still affecting his emotional and psychological condition.
This impact of his loss followed him everywhere, especially into class. He hardly attended lectures, reading became extremely difficult for him, but when he reluctantly did, he barely comprehends anything.
A survey carried out on bereaved students in Ahmadu Bello University, Zaria reflects that, the death of a parent exerts a significant emotional and academic toll on students’ academic achievement. This echoes the need for a support system for affected students especially during examinations.
In alignment with the findings of the survey, Abdulrahman discloses that taking exams became difficult for him after the loss due to lack of concentration and focus. “During exams, I used to lose confidence. The pain affected me seriously,” he said.
While Abdulrahman was silently suffering, there was no formal institutional support—only words urging patience echoed in his ears.
“Family, friends and neighbours encouraged me to accept the test with good faith. Apart from Allah, there was no other support,” he stated.
Different moments of loss, one shared reality
Beyond different stories of loss—ranging from the one that took over Ramadan’s evening, one that creeps in at night when Yakubu was supposed to be asleep to Abdulrahman’s mum whose grief doesn’t stop the academic calendar.
One reality is unanimous, these students never give up on education. They continue pushing through without a mother or father figure.
Similarly, Yakubu, Ramadan, and Abdur-Rahman believe universities, governments, and charitable organisations must do more through: fee flexibility, scholarships, stipends, and structured emotional support which would help students forced to navigate trauma alongside coursework.
“Life taught me that a mother is a shield. Once she leaves, the shadow disappears,” Abdur-Rahman reflected.
Yet, even without the shadows, these students continue to return to class quietly carrying grief, faith, and unfinished dreams. They stay not because it is easy, but because leaving would mean allowing loss to take everything.
SDG Advocate Can Relate
Speaking with this writer, Tasiu Aminu, a United Nations Sustainable Development Goals (SDGs) advocate for SDG 1 and 4 which amplifies No Poverty and Quality Education, contends that losing one or both parents mid school is always painful, disrupts plans and awakens unforeseen challenges.
He further opined how losing one or both parents adversely affects schooling even beyond the obvious financing.
In line with his choice of advocacy for SDG 4 (Quality Education)Aminu emphasized how someone who is unable to attend school due to financial, emotional and psychological support would have an education at all, let alone a quality education that stands out.
“When someone halts schooling. We couldn’t even talk about the quality of their education,” he said.
Aminu hasn’t personally experienced any drop out of the affected students. He attest to how these students can be mentally and psychologically derailed.
He referenced one of his friends, who lost his mother when exams were very close and couldn’t sit exams.
“My friend missed many exams due to the trauma and mental instability of his loss,” he narrated.
The Roles of the Students Union Caretaker Committee
As the chairman of the SU-CTC, Aminu made reference to the Nigerian Education Loan Fund (NELFUND) Initiative and how it has significantly helped a lot of students with school fees as well as monthly allowances.
About NELFUND
The Nigerian Education Loan Fund (NELFUND) is a pivotal financial institution established under the Student Loans (Access to Higher Education) (Repeal and Re-enactment) Act, 2024 signed into law by President Bola Tinubu on 3rd April, 2024 marking a historic step towards ensuring sustainable higher education and functional skill development for Nigerian students and young people.
This initiative provides interest-free loans to eligible students for higher education, aiming to remove financial barriers, support human capital, and ensure access to quality education for all Nigerians through non-interest loans with repayment starting 2 years after National Youth Service via a 10% salary deduction.
Additionally, he assured that the Students’ Union Caretaker Committee is always ready to help in whatever capacity, students in such situations.
In such respect, Aminu stated the situation of some set of students who were unable to pay their tuition fee and wrote to the SU-CTC last session under the leadership of comrade Nazir Yusuf Shehu seeking its assistance and how the Students’ Union helped with the little it could afford as reinforcement for these students.
“We supported these students with the little we can, in supplement to what they have with them at the time,” he said.
He further made reference to the recent initiative of Students’ Union called SU-CTC UDUS online Complaint Desk where students can lodge any complaint they are having.
Students are encouraged to reach out through “complaintdeskudussu@gmail.com” or on WhatsApp through 07082677366
He concluded by encouraging students to fight mental and psychological trauma by leveraging on NELFUND.